Today, as we approach Armistice Day, I'm diving into my personal and professional journey as a female military veteran and a psychological therapist who works with trauma. I'm going to share my experiences from my deployment in Afghanistan, some of the rough patches I went through in my military service, and the valuable lessons I've learned along the way. Plus, I'll offer some insights for trauma therapists, veterans facing mental health challenges, and their friends and families.
My Military Journey
First things first, a bit about me. I proudly served in the UK military for several years, including a deployment to Afghanistan. Those experiences shaped me in ways I could never have anticipated. The bond I forged with my colleagues, the challenges we faced, and the sense of duty are etched into my soul. The experience did not come without trials though, and at times my role took a toll on my wellbeing, my self-esteem and my confidence.
The Impact of Armistice Day
Armistice Day holds a special place in my heart. It's a day when we remember and honour the sacrifices of those who served before us. The solemnity of the occasion reminds us that peace is hard-won and should never be taken for granted.
As a therapist, I encourage veterans to participate in Armistice Day activities. It's a way to connect with others who share similar experiences and a chance to reflect on the past while looking forward to a brighter future. I acknowledge that this can be difficult for many, I have personal experience of wanting to hide away from everyone on my first Remembrance Sunday outside of the Armed Forces, it was a strangely unexpected experience for me, certainly not something I anticipated but this year, with pride, I will be speaking at my local church remembrance event.
Lessons from the Battlefield
My deployment in Afghanistan was a rollercoaster of emotions. I faced adversity, loss, and fear, but I also discovered resilience and courage I never knew I possessed. Here are some lessons I've carried with me into my career as a trauma therapist:
The Importance of Resilience: The military taught me that resilience is the key to overcoming life's toughest challenges. I use this lesson to help my clients build their own resilience when facing trauma or adversity and knowing that even in the most difficult of places there is hope.
Embracing Empathy: Being on the receiving end of empathy during difficult times was invaluable. As a therapist, I've learned the power of empathy in building trust with my clients.
Communication is Key: Clear and effective communication can save lives on the battlefield. It's just as crucial in therapy, helping clients express their feelings and experiences, developing ways of communicating distress can save lives in an entirely different way.
Being a woman in the Armed Forces
Serving as a female in the armed forces has been a unique journey, marked by some difficult experiences and challenges. In a historically male-dominated environment, I, like many other women, had to prove my worth and break through preconceived notions of gender roles in the military.
One of the first hurdles to overcome as a female in the military is the predetermined stereotypes. It's not uncommon for people to underestimate a woman's physical and mental capabilities in a combat setting. However, this stereotype was shattered by many female personnel, myself included, who consistently demonstrated their competence and strength and ability to function in arduous conditions.
My experiences as a female member of the Armed Forces have instilled in me a passion for advocating gender equality within the military and further afield. The armed forces are trying to take steps towards reducing gender disparities, but there is still work to be done. I firmly believe that every individual should be judged by their skills, dedication, and performance, rather than their gender.
While the military may be male dominated, the bonds of camaraderie often transcend gender. Many of my male colleagues were incredibly supportive and respectful, treating me as an equal. These relationships helped bridge the gender gaps, creating a more inclusive and productive work environment. Although not all my experiences were positive, and I think it is important to acknowledge some of the additional difficulties that females in this setting face.
Military life can be particularly challenging for women. They may grapple with the impacts of discrimination, harassment, and the need to juggle military service with motherhood. My own experiences of becoming a mother whilst serving left me with some difficult decisions to make, ultimately, I believe that the Armed Forces require someone to put the needs of the service first above all else and for me when I became a mother and a wife, I revaluated whether I was willing and able to do that. Having said this I know of many, many wonderful colleagues who are both mothers and serving personnel, I think I admire them more than most. The service can offer great support to some, but sadly this is not the case for all, and this is probably where some of the issues lie. There can be a lack of understanding around pregnancy, loss, and post-partum illness, transitions back to service after maternity leave can be quite ‘black and white’ with few options for part time working or to continue things such as breastfeeding. At times assumptions are made about females and their willingness to continue to service after becoming a mother, these attitudes then fuel an unhealthy culture around the level of support women might need to maintain their role.
Understanding these unique challenges is vital for therapists working with veterans, specifically female veterans. Therapists must create a safe and empathetic space for veterans to discuss their experiences, issues related to gender-based trauma, post-traumatic stress, and the emotional toll of navigating a male-dominated profession must be addressed sensitively and professionally.
Trauma may come from within the structure of the service in addition to the battlefield, and the close bonds between military personnel can mean that if a woman is subject to sexual trauma or harassment there is not only the trauma of the event but the trauma of processing the fact that the perpetrator of this may have come from within the ‘organisation’. This leaves some issues around accessing specialist mental health care or charitable support services for veterans when many of them are geared up to replicate the environment of the military, for some women this replication of the ‘band of brothers’ approach can be off-putting and trigger trauma responses. For example if a therapy group is offered and mirrors the gender balance of the military it is likely these women will be in a male dominated group, the language and approach may try to mirror military experience to make veterans comfortable but for a woman who has been traumatised, it can in actual fact be detrimental and prevent them accessing the specialist veteran support that is out there.
Female veterans, by breaking through gender barriers, serve as inspirations to future generations of women considering military service. They embody strength, resilience, and the potential to excel in any role they choose. Their stories showcase the possibilities for women in fields that were traditionally reserved for men. It's a testament to the strength and determination of women who choose to serve their country, paving the way for a more inclusive and equitable military environment. However, it is essential that within equality of opportunity there is an acknowledgement that woman are fundamentally different to the majority of male service men and catering for this difference should be encouraged.
Advice for Therapists Working with Veterans
For fellow therapists, working with veterans can be incredibly rewarding. Here are some tips:
Cultural Competency: Understand the military culture, including acronyms and terminology. This shows respect and builds rapport.
Trauma-Informed Care: Be prepared to work with trauma survivors. It's essential to create a safe and non-judgmental space for your clients. This might be military specific combat trauma, it may also relate to gender specific experiences in service
Collaboration: Team up with other professionals who specialise in veterans' issues, such as PTSD or substance abuse.
Support for Veterans and Their Loved Ones
Veterans often face unique mental health challenges, and their friends and families play a crucial role in their recovery. To veterans, I'd say this: it's okay to seek help. You've faced the toughest battles, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
For friends and families, offer your unwavering support and understanding. Be patient and learn about their experiences. Don't hesitate to encourage them to seek professional help when needed.
My journey has been a winding and transformative one. I'm proud to have served my country, and I'm equally proud to represent a population of women who voice that they have found their serving and veteran journey complex and not without challenge.