As I’ve said before, trauma leads to much more than Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While this diagnostic label captures some of the fallout of trauma, its impact can span the whole breadth of mental health difficulties. It can also affect people in ways that wouldn’t necessarily be labelled or given a specific diagnosis, creating negative cycles within our lives or unhelpful ways of seeing ourselves and the world. I would say low self-esteem falls into this category. Let’s explore this topic and its relationship to trauma, together…
What is Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem is a term used to describe a person’s relationship with themselves. This includes how they think about themselves, how they feel about themselves, and how they treat themselves. Low self-esteem isn’t a diagnosis, but it is a description of the clinical presentation of several problems.
The theory of low self-esteem rests on the idea that we all have underlying beliefs, both about ourselves, others, and the world around us. For a person with low self-esteem, their beliefs are inherently negative. For example, they might consist of things like:
I am not good enough
I am not worthy
I am not lovable
I am bad
I am defective
People don’t usually have one single view or belief about themselves. Instead, we tend to have a series of underlying beliefs. Some of these are helpful and some are unhelpful. These underlying beliefs are a bit like a lens through which we view the world and our interactions with it. Sometimes we’re aware of these underlying beliefs, and we can understand how they’re impacting us. Other times, they sit below the surface, affecting us in ways we can’t always grasp on our own.
Where Do These Beliefs Come From?
Low self-esteem is one of the many consequences of experiencing trauma. Negative beliefs are often derived from early life experiences and our relationships with key people present with us at the time. These experiences may consist of overt trauma (sometimes known as ‘big T trauma’) or more subtle, traumatic experiences (sometimes known as ‘little t trauma’).
Managing Underlying Beliefs
To manage and compensate for their negative beliefs, many people develop a set of rules they strive to adhere to. This might involve doing things to prove those beliefs wrong. For, example, a person who believes they’re not good enough might try to do everything perfectly. Alternatively, managing negative beliefs can look like behaving in a way that is consistent with the underlying belief. For example, if somebody believes they are a bad person, they may choose to engage in behaviour they feel confirms this belief.
Rules like perfectionism are difficult to maintain. We’re all human and therefore it’s impossible for us to be perfect at all times. During periods when strategies to compensate can’t be maintained or they become overwhelming to adhere to, people can be susceptible to periods of low mood, anxiety, and self-criticism.
The things people do to manage underlying beliefs can also become problematic in their own right. Trying to do things perfectly all the time can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Behaving in a way that the individual believes to be bad could lead to them engaging in risky behaviour or harmful activities.
As a recovering perfectionist, this is something I can relate to. Through life experience and undertaking my own therapy, I’ve come to realise the root of my perfectionism was low self-esteem and not feeling good enough. I was always striving to achieve more but never quite feeling fulfilled. I realised I needed to grow to accept myself as I am, without all the perfectionist baggage. Slowly, my self-esteem began to improve, and I’m now able to give myself credit for what I do.
The Long-Term Impact of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can affect our inner voice, how we relate to ourselves, how we think about ourselves and how much we believe we can do things or not. It also affects us in relationships. Often, people will worry that partners, friends and colleagues view them in the same negative way they view themselves. Alternatively, they might be fearful of being uncovered as not living up to people’s positive perceptions and expectations. Sometimes this is known as ‘imposter syndrome’.
It’s common for people with low self-esteem to have a variety of different psychological difficulties over time. The other challenge they face is that even when things are going well, they will often view this through the lens of their negative beliefs, denying themselves the associated sense of accomplishment and joy.
Overcoming Low Self-Esteem
Various therapeutic approaches are helpful for combatting low self-esteem including CBT, EMDR, schema therapy, and mindfulness. Usually, therapy involves rewiring similar experiences that led to the development of the negative belief, coming up with alternative views of the self, working on ways to strengthen these beliefs and developing more self-compassion.
Find Out More
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem and would like more support to help you heal and recover, please get in touch. I also share lots of tips and advice via Instagram.
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