‘Abandon the search for the Goldilocks spot’

25 Jan ‘21

So this week I took some fairly big and scary steps in my business, taking time to reflect on what I have achieved this week has given me the theme for my first blog post.

How often do you find yourself putting things off? Mounds of unfinished tasks stacking up? Or waiting for the right time to do something? Even when that something is a thing you really really want?

Sound familiar….it is certainly something that I can relate to, I often find myself doing or rather not doing all of the above. I ask myself why that might be and come up with a whole host of reasons (or perhaps in the interests of full disclosure I should say excuses!) as to why I have a half dug up flower bed, a partially finished website, a part decorated bedroom and a great idea that I have never really invested my time and effort in.

My primary reason (I tell myself!) is I am ‘too busy’, and thanks very much COVID-19 and BoJo for the additional factor of feral children under my feet much of the time, boy am I busy right now!

Other reasons include I haven’t decided how I want it to look/be/feel yet, I haven’t chosen the perfect colour/wallpaper/garden design, I haven’t had enough time to really perfect my idea, to ensure it will work, to be certain it will be good, that people will like it, that it will be successful….and the list goes on….

Just think about how much time we spend searching for that Goldilocks spot, for things to be ‘just right’ before we take the plunge. So much so that we run the risk of getting in our own way, stifling our creativity and hampering opportunities.

If I take a good long look inside myself and if I am brutally honest, the real reason I wait around conducting that final Pinterest search, proofreading a document for the umpteenth time, rearranging the order of the landing page on my website is because I am afraid. I am afraid of failure, I am afraid of what it might feel like and what it might mean to me to not get things right, for things to not be perfect!

If we want to live a life that we desire and that we deserve there comes a point when we need to accept that perfection is not and should not be the end game. In fact the need for perfection is counterproductive, it implies that once we have done something it will remain as it is, no room for change or improvement because it is already perfect. Surely progress is a better goal than perfection, progress is moving in the direction we want to go, one step at a time, changing course as we evolve, overcoming obstacles that we may meet. Progress is less about expectation and more about action.

When I let go of the need to be perfect and embraced being imperfect I could literally feel the opportunities opening up like windows around me. Instead of being stuck at the window looking out and longing or wondering I was able to stick my head right out and see what was going on out there. It is on this principle I published my website for Fortitude this week, because although it is far from perfect (fighting the need to point out the flaws with it before someone else does!) by waiting and procrastinating I was merely delaying the beginning of my next adventure.

There is much to be learnt from the tale of Goldilocks and the 3 bears in terms of morality in relation to using other people’s belongings and the pitfalls of breaking and entering! But the tale has a lot to answer for in its message that if we try enough different porridges, chairs or beds we will eventually find things to be ‘just right’ because sometimes in life we will not find those perfect conditions. We just need to work with what we have got and give it a try, to put ourselves and our ideas out there, to make the choices and let the consequences play out ….who knows it may end in our own happily ever after!

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