Hidden Causes of Trauma – Understanding the Impact of What DIDN’T Happen
- Fortitude Psychological Therapy
- 16 minutes ago
- 3 min read
When I talk about trauma, people tend to think about big, obvious traumatic events – things like abuse, accidents, attacks and disasters. However, trauma isn’t always about what happened. Sometimes it’s about what DIDN’T happen.
This is particularly true when it comes to childhood experiences. During these formative years, trauma can also stem from care you didn’t receive, a lack of safety, and the absence of love, protection and stability. Some people call these ‘hidden causes of trauma’ because they’re often overlooked.
Hidden Causes of Trauma Explained
When I ask clients about their childhood, many will begin by telling me things were okay. They were fed and watered. But when we delve deeper, we discover there were lots of important things missing from their childhood. Not having certain things as a child can shape someone’s entire sense of self, their adult life, and the way they experience the world.
Let’s look at some examples…
Emotional neglect – growing up without warmth, affection and encouragement, and not having anyone you can turn to for emotional support when things are tough.
Lack of safety – living in a home that wasn’t a safe, secure or predictable environment.
Lack of protection – not having anyone to protect you or advocate for you if difficult things happen.
Unmet attachment needs – having parents or primary caregivers who, for whatever reason, are distant, unavailable or inconsistent.
Chronic invalidation – repeatedly being told you are too much, too sensitive, overly dramatic, or making a fuss.
Lack of support – facing major life challenges or changes without appropriate adult support.
Understanding the Impact of What DIDN’T Happen
The impact of things that didn’t happen can be more subtle and difficult to identify. With overt trauma, you tend to see a collection of symptoms commonly associated with mental health problems like PTSD, depression, and anxiety disorders.
While hidden causes of trauma can lead to these problems too, they can also lead to issues that are less likely to attract a diagnostic label. This includes things like self-doubt, self-criticism, low self-esteem, difficulties with emotions, shame, and challenges in relationships.
What Does This Mean for Your Healing Journey?
As the name suggests, hidden causes of trauma aren’t obvious traumas, and the fallout is often internalised. This means people tend to think there’s something inherently wrong with them rather than looking outside of themselves for the cause. It can be hard to identify the link between what didn’t happen in the past and the difficulties you’re experiencing now.
Being able to recognise this link can help you understand why things are hard. It can also help validate your experiences. It’s not necessarily about blaming people for the things you didn’t receive as a child. Instead, it’s about acknowledging that things could have been better, and that an absence of care or safety can be just as impactful as more obvious traumas. Often, a key part of therapy in this situation is helping you identify what you didn’t have as a child and facilitating your ability to give it to yourself now you’re an adult.
Find Out More
If you’re struggling with any of the things described in this article and you’d like an expert to help you heal and recover, please get in touch. Alternatively, subscribe to The Trauma Toolbox to receive my insights and tips straight to your inbox every month. I also share lots of mental health education via Instagram.
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