Emotional regulation refers to our ability to manage and modulate emotions in a healthy and adaptive way. It involves recognising, understanding, and effectively responding to emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Emotional regulation is a key component of mental and emotional well-being and plays a crucial role in various aspects of life, including relationships, decision-making, and overall mental health. Our emotional regulation is a bit like our emotional thermometer and can sometimes get too hot or too cold, regulating our emotions is similar to regulating a temperature in that we want to have the ability for it to go up and down, but not to extremes and always with the ability to have a mechanism to bring it back down to a manageable level.
Achieving emotional regulation begins with developing an awareness of our emotions. This involves recognising and accurately labelling different emotions as they arise, for some people this can be tricky, and developing this skill can be a first port of call within therapy. Understanding the underlying causes and triggers of emotions is important for effective emotional regulation. This includes identifying the thoughts, situations, or memories that contribute to specific emotional responses.
Emotional regulation is not about suppressing or denying emotions but rather accepting them as valid and acknowledging their presence. Acceptance involves understanding that emotions are a natural part of the human experience. Once we are aware of and understand our emotions, we can choose how to respond to them. This involves making conscious decisions about behavior, thoughts, and actions in response to emotional experiences. Emotional regulation includes the ability to modulate the intensity of emotions. This means preventing emotions from becoming overwhelming or overly intense, as well as avoiding emotional numbness or suppression.
Developing and employing effective coping strategies is a key aspect of emotional regulation. Healthy coping mechanisms may include problem-solving, seeking support from others, engaging in relaxation techniques, or engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfilment. Emotional regulation is not a one-size-fits-all process. It requires flexibility and adaptability, as different situations may call for different emotional responses and regulation strategies.
Interpersonal relationships play a significant role in emotional regulation. Effective communication, empathy, and conflict resolution skills contribute to maintaining healthy relationships and managing emotional experiences within social contexts. Individuals who struggle with emotional regulation may experience difficulties in managing stress, forming, and maintaining relationships, and making sound decisions.
Developing Emotional Regulation
Developing a trauma informed guide to emotional regulation, is a skill that is typically developed through a combination of biological, environmental, and experiential factors and it is a skill we learn within our early life experiences. Children often learn emotional regulation by observing and imitating the emotional expressions and regulation strategies of their caregivers and significant adults. If parents or caregivers effectively model healthy emotional regulation, children are more likely to adopt similar skills, and equally so if unhealthy emotional regulation is exhibited.
Responsive caregiving has a huge role in the development of emotional regulation skills, this involves attuning to a child's emotional needs, providing comfort, and helping the child navigate and regulate their emotions. When caregivers respond sensitively to a child's emotional cues, it fosters a sense of security and teaches the child that their emotions are valid and manageable. Parents and caregivers who engage in emotional coaching can help children understand and label their emotions. Parents can provide guidance on how to manage and express emotions in a socially appropriate way. This involves validating the child's feelings while also offering support in finding constructive ways to cope.
Consistent routines and predictable environments contribute to emotional regulation in children. Predictability helps children feel secure and in control, reducing anxiety and promoting emotional stability. Teaching children specific coping skills, such as deep breathing, counting, or taking a break, can empower them to manage their emotions effectively. These coping strategies become tools for emotional regulation as children grow.
Emotional Regulation and Trauma
The link between emotional regulation and psychological trauma is significant, as trauma experiences can profoundly impact an individual's ability to learn and maintain emotional regulation skills. When someone experiences psychological trauma, which can result from various forms of overwhelming and distressing events, their emotional regulation may be compromised in several ways.
Trauma survivors may experience alterations in their arousal levels. Hyperarousal involves an increased state of alertness, manifested through heightened anxiety, irritability, and difficulty relaxing. On the other hand, hypo arousal involves a state of emotional numbness, dissociation, and reduced responsiveness to stimuli. Both hyperarousal and hypo arousal can disrupt the normal balance of emotional responses.
Trauma can affect the ability to accurately recognise and label emotions, both in oneself and in others. This difficulty may stem from the overwhelming nature of traumatic experiences, making it challenging to articulate or understand complex emotional states. Trauma survivors may experience intense and overwhelming emotional reactions to stimuli that trigger memories or reminders of the traumatic event. These reactions can be disproportionate to the current situation and may involve heightened fear, anger, or distress.
Trauma can impact an individual's repertoire of coping strategies, making it challenging to regulate emotions effectively. Maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as avoidance, substance use, or self-harm, may be employed to cope with overwhelming emotions. Trauma often involves a breach of trust and a sense of threat to one's safety. This can lead to hypervigilance and difficulty trusting oneself and others, making it challenging to feel secure and regulate emotions in a stable manner.
Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with intrusive memories and flashbacks, which can trigger intense emotional responses. The sudden and involuntary re-experiencing of traumatic events can disrupt emotional regulation. Dissociation is a common coping mechanism in response to trauma. It involves a disconnection from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, or identity. While dissociation may provide temporary relief from distress, it can hinder emotional regulation and integration. Further or trauma can affect one's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, as trust, intimacy, and communication may be impacted. Emotional dysregulation can contribute to difficulties in interpersonal connections leading to the ripple effect of trauma across many areas of an individuals life.
How Therapy can help with Emotional Regulation
Teaching emotional regulation in therapy involves a collaborative process between the therapist and the individual seeking support. Providing information about the nature of emotions, the role they play, and how they are regulated is an essential component of teaching emotional regulation. Psychoeducation can help people understand the physiological and psychological aspects of emotions. Therapists help people learn to improve their emotional awareness by identifying and labelling emotions. This involves exploring the nuances of different emotions and understanding how they manifest in the body and mind. Emotional regulation skills are drawn from a series of different therapeutic approaches.
Mindfulness practices involve bringing attention to the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness and grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, body scanning, and sensory awareness, can be effective in helping individuals stay connected to the present and regulate emotional responses. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) often incorporates cognitive restructuring to help identify and challenge maladaptive thought patterns that contribute to emotional dysregulation. By changing negative thought patterns, individuals can alter their emotional responses.
Encouraging individuals to engage in activities that bring them joy, or a sense of accomplishment can positively impact mood and emotional regulation. Behavioral activation involves scheduling and participating in activities that align with one's values and goals. Therapists work with people to develop a toolkit of coping skills that can be used in moments of heightened emotion. These skills may include relaxation techniques, problem-solving strategies, and activities that provide emotional relief.
Using worksheets and journals, can help to track emotional experiences, identify patterns, and explore alternative ways of responding to emotions. This process promotes self-reflection and the development of insight into emotional triggers and reactions. Creating a validating and empathetic therapeutic environment is crucial for emotional regulation. The specific strategies employed in therapy will depend on the therapeutic approach, the unique needs and preferences of the individual and the underlying causes of emotional dysregulation. Therapy can be adapted for the individual, to support learning and practicing emotional regulation skills. Consistent practice, feedback, and support contribute to the development of effective emotional regulation over time.
Addressing the link between emotional regulation and psychological trauma often involves trauma-informed therapy. Therapeutic approaches such as Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), can be effective in helping individuals develop healthier emotional regulation skills and coping mechanisms. Check out our website for more information on the therapies available.