What Is Self-Care?

Self-care can be defined as the conscious acts people take to promote their physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health. As a concept, it’s been around for a very long time. Some people credit the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates with founding the self-care movement! It also has connections to the Black feminist movement through civil rights activist and poet Audre Lorde.

However, in recent years, our understanding of self-care has shifted. Many would argue it’s been commodified. This means the actions we consider self-care tend to be transactional experiences. Think spa-treatments and the little treats we pick up at the supermarket!

The Need to Go Deeper

In line with this shift, much of the conversation around self-care feels a bit superficial. It’s often presented as something soft and fluffy. Something that can be easily bought online. But taking care of yourself is about so much more than scented candles, bubble baths and yoga. There’s nothing wrong with these things, and they may play an important part in your overall self-care routine, but on their own they do not go far enough.

I’m interested in going deeper. As trauma therapists, the work we do is vital, but it’s also a heavy load to carry. If we’re going to take care of ourselves and keep showing up for our clients, we’ve got to be open and honest about these things. We cannot gloss over what can sometimes be the ugly reality of self-care.

What I’ve Learned About Self-Care

I’ve been working in mental health for nearly 20 years, with around 15 of those focusing on trauma specifically. I haven’t come through this entirely unscathed. There have been periods when my life has been challenging and I’ve experienced things that could be considered traumatic. At times, this has impacted my ability to support clients, so clinical work has had to take a backseat.

There have also been points in my career where I’ve been a bit burnt out. This has impacted my level of compassion for others, my ability to focus, and the amount of energy I could bring to my work.

I’m not telling you this to garner sympathy! I think it’s important to be honest about the realities of working in this field. Therapists are human beings too. Sometimes we face challenges and upheaval in our personal lives. These things can interact with or be compounded by the work we do. Specialising in trauma also leaves us vulnerable to being affected by things we hear in the therapy room or from other therapists we supervise.

The most important thing to remember is that it’s normal to be affected by painful, difficult things. In fact, I would be more concerned about somebody who wasn’t affected by the things they encounter in their work as a trauma therapist. This is one of the reasons self-care is so important – its plays an essential role in building resilience. 

Self-Care for Trauma Therapists

1.      Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step on your self-care journey as a trauma therapist is admitting when you are affected by things. It’s important to be honest with yourself and acknowledge when things are difficult. If you don’t, you leave yourself open to becoming increasingly burnt out and fatigued. When we acknowledge the presence of something, we can begin to do something about it.

2.      Know Your Triggers

It’s important to know and understand your own triggers. We all have things that hit closer to home or can remind us of challenging experiences in our personal lives. It’s important to keep an eye out for these things and have a plan for dealing with the effects. Thinking about your own belief systems, where they come from, and how you see the world can help you identify topics and themes you might find more difficult.

3.      Create a Safe Space

Therapists need safe spaces to diffuse some of the trauma they carry. Supervision is a good example of a space where it would be appropriate to talk about clients, seek advice about the best ways to support them, and to explore your own thoughts and feelings. If you recognise you are being triggered, or you feel troubled by something specific during a session, it’s always wise to visit these things within your own therapy.

4.      Focus on the Bigger Picture

I believe therapists help their clients most when they can helicopter above their problems, teasing out themes and patterns for the client rather than getting too preoccupied with the detail of what they’re sharing. Looking at the bigger picture and thinking ahead in terms of interventions and support can help you focus on the way forward and maintain the hopeful stance our clients need from us.

5.      Don’t Forget the Basics

When you’re successfully meeting your basic needs, you have more capacity to think about meeting your emotional and psychological needs too. I’m talking about things like eating regular meals, taking short breaks, staying hydrated, getting fresh air, and stretching your legs. It sounds simple, but in certain organisations there isn’t always the space for therapists to do these things. We must remember to prioritise our basic needs and make a concerted effort to meet them.

6.      Put the Self in Self-Care

The work we do often takes us to the darker side of life, so we need to find the light whenever we can. It’s important to remember self-care will be different for everyone. I’m not going to specify what you should be doing to promote your own wellbeing, but I can tell you what I do to take care of myself.

Walking my dog is an important part of my self-care routine. I find spending time in nature very grounding. Being with the dog outside in the fresh air also helps me slow down my breathing and focus in a way that gets me out of my own head. I also love to read. Sometimes I’ll reach for work related books, but often I’ll choose a fictional narrative that allows me to visit somewhere new that isn’t my own headspace.

7.      Lean On Others

Sometimes self-care looks like leaning on others or asking for help. I never underestimate how lucky and blessed I am to have people in my life who offer authentic, genuine support and encouragement. I don’t need to share the details or tell them what’s going on – these people are just there for me if I’m feeling sad or I’ve had a tough day.

About Shelley

I am a qualified, trauma informed Clinical Supervisor with experience supporting individuals, groups and trainees. I’m also an EMDR Consultant and Training Facilitator, a BABCP accredited CBT therapist and lecturer and a RN(MH). My supervision style is relaxed, supportive and focussed on providing a safe space to learn and share knowledge. Learn more about my services here and please get in touch to discuss working with me.