6 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Trauma

Fortitude Psychological Therapy
3 days ago
3 min read

I hear all sorts of myths about trauma therapy through my work with clients and supervising therapists. These myths and assumptions are a huge bugbear of mine! There’s rarely any evidence to support them and they usually lack the nuance I believe is so crucial when it comes to conversations about therapy.

In an attempt to redress the balance, here are the things I wish more people knew. Why? Because understanding trauma doesn’t just bring clarity, it brings hope. And fostering hope is often where healing begins.

The Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Trauma

1. Trauma isn’t Just What You Think It Is

A narrow definition of trauma can be very invalidating for a lot of people. It can also prevent them from getting the help they so desperately need.

Trauma isn’t defined by what happened, it’s defined by the impact it had on you. The event doesn’t have to be dramatic, public or extreme. If it left you feeling unsafe, unseen, or it changed how you see yourself, it counts.

Nor is trauma necessarily one big thing. Sometimes it’s a thousand little things. Trauma can also stem from what didn’t happen. Things like relational neglect, emotional absence, and unfulfilled needs. Read Hidden Causes of Trauma – The Impact of What DIDN’T Happen to learn more.

Different people can experience the same thing and be impacted differently. In other words, what is traumatic for one person isn’t necessarily for another. If you’ve been through something and it’s disturbing, distressing, and impacting you in the here and now, it’s likely therapy will be helpful.

2. The Fallout from Trauma Goes Beyond PTSD

When people talk about trauma, it often becomes intertwined with what they know and understand about PTSD or Complex PTSD.

While these conditions are a common fallout from trauma, there are a whole bunch of other symptoms, cycles, and behaviours that aren’t PTSD but are still the result of experiencing trauma. Read 5 Surprising Signs of Trauma in Your Daily Life for more on this.

Just because someone doesn’t present with PTSD, it doesn’t mean their experience wasn’t traumatic. At the same time, trauma therapy is not solely reserved for people with a PTSD diagnosis. The tools and support therapists offer can be helpful in a range of situations.

3. Your Pain Doesn’t Need to Justify Itself by Comparison

Someone else having it worse doesn’t make what you’re carrying any lighter. Trauma is not a competition, and you don’t have to have suffered ‘enough’ to deserve support.

4. Trauma Isn’t Becoming an 'Overused Term'

This is a criticism I’m seeing more and more frequently, both on social media and within the mainstream press. There seems to be a lot of debate about whether someone’s trauma is traumatic or not, or traumatic 'enough' to be deserving of help.

But who are we to dictate whether someone else's experience was traumatic or not? As we’ve established, trauma is a subjective, individual experience related to the impact of an event rather than what it entailed. Yes, a therapist can determine whether someone meets the diagnostic criteria, but even if they don’t, it doesn’t mean their experience doesn’t count as trauma.

Sadly, I’m sure some of this discourse reflects the stigma that continues to surround mental health. Psychological struggles are still seen by many as a sign of weakness, and some people are simply more comfortable being dismissive.

Personally, I think it’s a good thing people are paying more attention to how certain experiences affect their emotional health. Increased awareness can only have a positive impact.

5. Trauma Therapy Doesn’t Have to Break You Open

Good trauma therapy is safe, paced, and led by you. You don’t have to relive everything in detail in order to heal, and you don’t need to be at rock bottom to be deserving of help.

6. You Are Not Permanently Broken

The way your brain works isn’t set in stone. Neuroplasticity means new patterns, new beliefs, and new ways of experiencing yourself are possible, even after a lifetime of feeling the way you do now.

You are not what happened to you. You are what you are becoming, and that can always change. Read What It Means When You Feel Broken on the Inside for more on this.

Freedom Beyond Trauma

If you’re looking for a gentle, supported way to start healing at a pace that feels safe and manageable for you, explore my on-demand course, Freedom Beyond Trauma.

Alternatively, subscribe to The Trauma Toolbox to receive my insights and expertise straight to your inbox every month. I also share lots of support via Instagram.